Saturday, November 29, 2008

In Times of Distress...



I did this drawing of a very stroppy Dromornis when I was stressing out during an Environmental Geology practical. You can see how I have shifted the wattles to the base of the neck, as in the cassowary (Casuarius), but I am thinking of doing something more similar to the brush turkey (Alectura lathami) now. My working memory is a total mess. It's one of the comorbidities that I have with Asperger's Disorder and it makes maths near impossible for me. I am also not very good at asking for help with this sort of thing. I have a Father that has Aspeger's Disorder as well but we seem to be mirror images of one another when it comes to intellectual ability. My Dad is good at maths, but not so good at English and the arts. I am the total opposite. Unfortunately, my Father expected me to be just like him. I mean I was in many ways when it comes to behaviour but not intellectual ability. He used to get angry with me because he assumed I would have an intuitive grasp of mathematical concepts as he did. I knew they wanted a polymath as a child and alas I never met the mark. When I was at school I was always at the top of the class for English but at the bottom in maths. Hence I was considered bright but stubborn. The teachers used to become very exasperated because I could not understand the whole concept of the times tables in grade one and they used to rage at me saying, "why can't you understand it? You should because all the other children know." But I wasn't like the other children ad I knew that since I was five. Thus I started not to ask for help. I became more and more socially withdrawn. I'm pretty sure these events still affect me now in a very big way. I can't help it very much because they are so deeply ingrained in my subconsciousness. The memories are upsetting because incidents like this continued to happen until I reached university.



This is a little Dromornis head I drew when I was panicking over my climatology assignment, which was all maths.

No comments: